BYE-BYE, BARFLY!

BY LISA RHYNE

The following story is one of my favorite living in the matrix supernatural short stories. (I also refer to it when people ask me why I’m single.)

It was a bad day for long hair and lip gloss. The wild Georgia winds pulled and whipped my long, flowing red hair, causing it to dance around me like a demented demon on fire. My bright cherry red lip gloss became an inkwell for each strand dragged across my juicy lips painting my alabaster skin with sticky sweet crimson streaks. Anyone walking by might’ve imagined a stark raving mad invisible artist frantically creating a mystical treasure map in blood on my face. What a sight!

My face, neck, chest, and arms welcomed every sweet stroke of my voluminous hair flying in all directions. Wild hair yanking plus hot wind caressing the body is quite affecting and enchanting. One minute I’m wet from the oppressive sweltering humidity; the next, I’m invigorated and shivering from the air blasting my skin.

My body was weary, and my eyes bleary from driving for ten hours straight, so I was in an altered, expanded state of awareness. That easily happens due to the hypnotic nature of driving for long periods. Both driving and being in nature are always very hypnotic and therapeutic. Every blink, breath, and movement now registered on a deeper level, enhanced my trance, and put me firmly outside of time.

I stood in that small motel parking lot, gazing towards the entire property’s tree line. Clouds dreamily drift by as the slow setting sun created a surreal swirling canvas of vibrant otherworldly colors. I understand why humans have always considered dusk and dawn magical times when the veils between worlds seem to disappear and make anything impossible. What a lovely end to a long yet mostly uneventful day thus far.

With the sun now gone, a delicious soul-level peace washed over me, for which I was genuinely grateful. It was time to go inside and get ready for my date. Looking in the mirror, I dissolved into laughter, admiring nature’s abstract artwork all over my face and upper body. Wow! A quick shower was absolutely required.

I’d come down to Macon, Georgia, to rendezvous with a potential new serious boyfriend. Unbeknownst to him, this little vacation would confirm whether he was worthy of me and capable of being in a relationship with someone metaphysical like me. Walking between worlds ain’t for sissies. Every man (secretly or not so secretly) wants a redhead until he gets one. Myths and legends have paved the way for our much-deserved wild reputation. And while we redheads are a handful in many ways, I possess additional traits and qualities that make me rather unique and unpredictable.

This fellow had no idea who and what I truly am or, more importantly, what I’m capable of. Although I already knew he wasn’t “The One,” I thought seeing what he’s made of might be fun for a little while. Neither of us could’ve ever dreamed what would transpire during this little weekend vacation getaway.

They gave us a room on the ground floor at the front of the building by the main parking lot near the motel restaurant/bar entrance. This location is essential because when the bar closed at around three o’clock in the morning, a group of very boisterous barflies exited that bar only to stop on the sidewalk right outside our room in front of our big picture window.

Exhausted from the long day’s events, I was sleeping like a dead man until I was startled awake by this swarm of barflies. Not to be confused with fireflies, barflies are the local drunks first in and last out of the bar every night. They aren’t the upscale elite who spend $600 on single-shot types. They come to drink all night, party hard and hook up. And just like an ornery housefly you can’t seem to shoo out of your house quickly, they buzz around at closing time in a desperate attempt to keep the party going.

I was sleeping near the window on my right while he was on my left, next to the bathroom. I glanced over and fixed my gaze on the window to see five silhouettes (so I believe there were only five women, even though they easily made enough noise for a baker’s dozen). Their high heels clonked like Clydesdales on the sidewalk as they stumbled into each other, laughing, singing, and chattering away as happy drunks do. These gals were in full party mode and oblivious to everything else.

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m all for having fun. But after about 15 minutes of this relentless and thoughtless commotion, it seemed they would not leave any time soon. My redheaded temper fired up, and I felt that familiar rage growing in my belly. Extremely agitated, I glanced over at my fella, who was also wide awake, and I growled, “They’ve got about sixty seconds to shut up and move on…or else!”

The unsettling, fierce look in my eye and the ferociousness in my voice made him understandably nervous. Not yet knowing me very well, he feared I was actually going to go out there and confront these obnoxious drunk chicks (probably resulting in an all-out girls gone wild fisticuffs). Cautiously, he tried to calm me down by assuring me they’d soon move on, and he timidly asked me to please stay inside.

Getting out of bed and going outside to deal with them was certainly not what I meant — oh, not by a long shot!

After what seemed like a long time but was probably only a few minutes, they were still lollygagging right in front of our window. Lying on my back, staring at that ugly off-white popcorn ceiling while listening to these thoughtless broads, I firmly proclaimed for God and anybody else to hear, “That’s it!” I’d hit fuck it, and I’d hit it hard. (And everyone knows when I hit ‘fuck it,’ fireworks follow.) I decided to take matters firmly into my own hands (so to speak), and that’s when things got…really weird.

I threw the covers off my torso to free my arms in one dramatic sweeping motion. I raised both hands in front of my chest as I scanned the air for what I was searching for. I then held my left hand in place while gracefully gliding my right hand through the air until it stopped.

To anyone watching without understanding what’s actually happening, this looks like I’m simply staring unfocused off into space while gently waving my hands in the air as if I’m in a trance, slowly swimming underwater or cautiously feeling in the dark for something to touch like when you are searching for the light switch in a dark room.

My intention was set, and I felt the shift when I made the connection to what I was searching for. We were quantumly entangled, and with the slightest gesture (an almost imperceptible flick of my right hand), I connected the two zero points and collapsed the wave. A quantum shift in my version of reality happened far too fast to register consciously in real-time.

Mind you, physical gestures and talking aren’t necessary. In fact, talking and gesturing actually slow down and can ultimately hinder my process. Looking back, I guess it was more for his benefit. He’d heard what I said and had been closely monitoring the girls at the window while watching me. He saw my minuscule hand gesture and eventually linked it to the subsequent consequences.

“There! Bye-Bye, Barfly!” I giddily proclaimed as I knew my process was complete. Wow, that was breathtaking! Instantaneous silence. We both looked to the window straining to see or hear anything, and there were no more shadows on the window. Nothing. A whole lot of nothing.

After a few seconds of this deafening silence, he urgently asked, “What just happened?!” Quite pleased — yet a wee bit surprised — with myself, I jubilantly exclaimed, “They are gone! Bye-Bye, Barfly!”

He threw off the covers, leaped out of bed, ran to the window, and pulled back the curtains searching for those people. I again proclaimed, “They’re gone!” He then opened the door to get a better view of the entire parking lot and surrounding area. His knuckles turned white as he gripped the door frame to hold himself up. He didn’t know what to think or do next.

After several minutes he cautiously looked over his shoulder at me with a wide-eyed, shocked expression and softly shouted, “There’s no one out there! They’re gone! There are no cars driving away, nothing! It’s completely dead out there.” I was grinning like the Cheshire Cat and said, “Yep! I know! I believe I already said that. THEY. ARE. G-O-N-E!”

After several minutes of frantic, strained searching of the entire area for any signs of life, he reluctantly closed the door and slowly walked back inside. He sat on the edge of his side of the bed, shaking his head in shock and disbelief. He repeatedly asked what had just happened.

Knowing he wouldn’t stop until he better grasped the situation (because I knew he would never fully understand, but I needed to tell him something), I searched for the best way to explain it. Now wide awake because of the adrenaline rush (and still quite tickled with myself), I sat up in bed and said, “Look, I’m going to make this as simple as possible. I had a desired outcome, set my intention, and without trying to control the outcome, I became quantumly entangled with the Field as I commanded my intended outcome to manifest.

The wave collapsed when I found the right point, connected, and it was complete. My intention manifested. This brings us to what just happened, which is one of two things:

I sent them into a parallel universe where we aren’t.
Or, I sent us to a parallel universe where they aren’t.

As I observed his body language and watched his surrounding energy field, I could tell he was freaked out and struggling to comprehend and entirely accept all this. He sat in complete silence, trying to make sense of what I’d just said as well as somehow understand what had just happened not only to those people outside our window but what had also just happened to him in that bed right beside me as he’d been watching the entire scene the entire time.

I got up to go to the bathroom and some water, leaving him with his thoughts as I knew he was too shaken up to sleep. When I returned, he was still sitting there. Placing a cold bottle of water on his bedside table, I climbed back under the covers. He thanked me as he slowly sipped at the water. After a long contemplative period, he timidly asked me to explain just once more. He apologized for not understanding, and I assured him I completely understood.

My adrenaline rush was over, and basking in this dénouement, I was crashing fast because it had been a long day. I was exhausted and needed to sleep, but I knew sleep would not come if I didn’t deal with him. I formulated then posed a series of rapid-fire questions to help him rule out “common sense” possibilities or conclusions most people would automatically jump to but, in fact, did not happen.

Did you hear any footsteps as they walked away in those crazy loud, clunky shoes?

Did you hear them call anyone to pick them up?

Did you hear any car keys jingling?

Did you hear car alarms beeping, car doors open or close, engines start, or cars pull up or drive away?

Did you hear a motel room door open or close like they entered a motel room?

How does it go from a loud crowd casting shadows on the window to no shadows and complete silence quicker than a split second – in a time that’s too short for anyone to move an inch, let alone walk or drive away?

How do you explain no footsteps, car noises, doors opening or closing, no calls, no keys jingling, no engines starting, and no cars driving up or away?

Can I prove they were zapped into a parallel universe?

Can you prove they weren’t?

Can I prove we were zapped into a parallel universe?

Can you prove we weren’t?

The bottom line, it went from loud to silent in half a heartbeat, and the silhouettes on the window instantly disappeared because they are no longer here. They are gone!

His knee-jerk reaction was wondering how I could be so calm and cavalier about what had just happened. Almost in tears, he asked, “How can you be so glib about killing those people?! How are you not totally freaked out right now?!”

Firstly, I assured him that no one had been killed. They are not here. They are somewhere or somewhen else – call it a parallel dimension. They are just as alive as we are; now, we are simply in different places. Secondly, I explained that there was no way I could fully explain what just happened at four o’clock in the damn morning.

“Look, I use my “paranormal” abilities all the time, so they are simply “normal” to me in my everyday life. I don’t “believe” in magic because I know and live in a reality where things you call magic, miracles, and all things supernatural are the rule rather than the exception. I’m in a constant state of awe, reverence, joy, curiosity, love, and enthusiasm with regard to all things metaphysical. And I live my life accordingly. We can get more into all this after breakfast because I’m going to sleep now.”

After several awkward moments of pregnant silence, he finally mustered up the courage to ask me what he actually wanted to know. He timidly squeaked out, “You won’t do that to me, will you?”

Ah, now we’ve gotten to the crux of it! I did my best to contain myself and not belly laugh because I understood he was quite distressed and bewildered. Contemplating all the freaky things I could say that might mess with him, I took a beat to find the right words to make my point and, more importantly, end this line of questioning at this ridiculous hour.

I wanted to be nice. However, given this evening’s monumentally victorious real-time quantum manipulation of reality involving at least seven people, I felt even more sassy than usual. I dramatically looked him straight in the eye, grinned my wickedest grin, paused for effect, then slowly purred, “Not if you behave! {wink} Goodnight!”

Like an electrocuted jackrabbit, he hopped off the side of the bed and into a chair across the room. There was an incredibly long pause as we silently stared at each other sizing up this situation. Poor thing! He didn’t know whether to shit or go blind as he sat there trying hard to wrap his befuddled brain around all that had just transpired. He was also trying to decide if he should grab his suitcase and bolt out the door, never to look back or stay there with me. Meanwhile, I was having a blast playing in the matrix as well as having a little fun at his expense.

I wished him good night and rolled over to go back to sleep. He eventually (and cautiously) climbed back into bed, pulled the covers up under his chin, and when last I looked at him, he was staring wide-eyed at that ugly ceiling. The combination of excitement, shock, curiosity, and full-blown heebie-jeebies kept him from getting any more sleep that night.

I shook his world in more ways than one with this undeniable, quantumly entangled paradigm-shifting experience, a reality game changer. As you may have guessed, this budding romance did not last. And in case you’re curious, I did not zap him into a parallel universe; we simply went our separate ways. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it!

~ THE END ~

Oh, did I mention this is a true story?

©Lisa Rhyne, all rights reserved.
www.LisaRhyne.com